Monday, March 9, 2009

The wee small hours of the morning....

It is 1:40 AM and as many of you creative souls out there certainly understand...sometimes this is when our juices get flowing and sleep eludes us.

I have been pondering some of the obstacles that have kept me from "doing art" for the past several years. There have been many reasons and excuses that prevented me from creating at certain times in my life (and many of them were quite legitimate) however, the number one obstacle I have faced is the fear of failure. The "what if it doesn't turn out right" and the "I don't know where to start" excuses that I, and maybe some of you, have dealt with during the beginning of a piece. I think what I have learned is that perhaps it isn't the end result or "the piece" I should be concerned with, but the experience of doing. Letting the act itself be the joy and not the end result. After all, I have never finished a portrait or any piece of work and have said to myself "this is perfect".

It's kind of like life itself. If we allow ourselves to get caught up in the "what ifs" and the "if onlys" in our lives, we are preventing ourselves from the true joy that comes from living in the moment and truly experiencing life. We become just another body marking time and being caught up in the fears of living.

I want to "BE" in my life....the artist of each moment!

I want to approach my art in a new and fresh way. The art is in the giving and receiving of the creative experience and not being imprisoned by the technical aspects or frozen behind the "viewfinder" of the end product. I want to find joy in the discovering!!

In"joy" your day today!


Duff said...

The painting is very beautiful. You have a great talent, and I know you will go far with it, I am looking forward to seeing more.
Love Duff

Gabrielle said...

Debbie, I deal with the fear of failure EVERY time I stare at that big scary blank piece of paper/canvas/whatever. One of my greatest discoveries was while reading the biographies of the big famous artists whom I admire and discovering that they suffered the same doubts we do. So I'm not so different from Mary Cassatt or Georgia O'Keefe - they didn't have any special exemption from the angst I deal with. They just chose to push through it and so we can too.

I think that's why I really enjoy sketching - I can psych myself out of the fear of failure because it's just a sketch. No pressure. I find the "zen" much easier to get into with sketching and so I can just enjoy the experience without worrying about the end result.

By the same token, would the victory of actually finishing a piece, good or bad, be as sweet if we didn't have to wrestle with our fears to do it?

So that's a very long-winded way to say welcome and you are not alone.

Julie said...

Hi Debbie, I'm a friend of your mom's from the Upperbranches story group. I'm so happy that she shared your blog link with us! I think your rose illustration is just beautiful. So much talent! I can really relate to this blog entry. I am a computer programmer nerd who also has a strong pull to express myself artistically. But like you, a single mom (for more than a decade, but I recently got remarried) with two teenagers (mine are boys), there is often little time to do much except survive. And when I sit down to paint or "play" with some other medium, I'm very often discouraged with my results. We should probably both take heart and just do our thing! Like you describe--just fully live our lives, and let art flow as it will. Sometimes my "art" is a perfectly baked pie, a long overdue letter to a friend, an elegant resolution to an disagreement with my boys. Or whatever. There is beauty and art in a well-lived day. I wish you all the best in your new adventure!
Julie, Here is who I am:

About Me

San Antonio, Texas, United States
I am a native San Antonio, Texan. I am the proud mother of two amazing daughters. I graduated from Texas State University in 1987 with a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in Commercial Art with an emphasis on design and illustration. I worked for two years in the advertising industry and quickly realized it was not for me. I have enjoyed being a freelance illustrator and a fine artist. I have designed and illustrated children's paintings, murals, as well as commissioned pieces for clients' homes.